Half of me, Half of you
by Eressie
Summary: Merlin have never been able to see his own whole reflection, and neither has Arthur.


**Half of me, half of you.**

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By: **Eressie**

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Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Obviously.

Summary: Merlin have never been able to see his own whole reflection, and neither has Arthur.

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Merlin did not like mirrors. Or anything in which he could see his reflection in really. This was not much of a problem when he was younger because no one he knew owned a mirror when he was a child. The only times he was able to see his reflection was in water. Puddles, lakes or a bucket filled with the liquid. It was not that he disliked the way he looked or anything like that, no it was something entirely different.

One of his earliest memories about realizing this problem occurred when he was almost four years old. He had been playing with ships in an ocean; from a child's point of view, the boats was actually pieces of bark and the ocean was a puddle from the heavy rain from the previous day. He remembered Will laughing at his reflection as he made funny faces into the water, his bark/ship laying forgotten at his side for the time being. Will had his palms on either side of his face; one hand pulled the skin on his face up and the other hand pulled down. Merlin had laughed at him and since it looked so funny; he decided to do the same. But as he looked down into the water to see his own silly face, he saw only half of himself. He lowered his hands and looked at Will's reflection, and he saw the boy in the water as he actually looked.

 _"Will, can you see me in the water?" he asked._

 _Will chuckled at the odd answer. "Yes."_

 _Merlin frowned. "The whole me? Both sides?" Will nodded. "And do you see the whole you?"_

 _Will looked down into the water and stuck out his tongue at himself. "Yes!" he laughed. "Why?"_

 _Merlin frowned again. "I… I don't…um, this side of me isn't there!" he said and waved his left arm around._

 _Now it was Will's turn to frown. "Your arm is asleep?"_

 _Merlin shook his head. "No… when I look into the water, I can only see this side." he said and touched his right cheek. "I don't have a face or body on the other side!"_

 _"Yes you do! I can see it!"_

 _Merlin got tears in his eyes. "I don't…" his lower lip began to tremble. "Mum!" he exclaimed and got up fast and started to run home._

There had been a long strange conversation when he got home. His mother had had some trouble to understand him through his crying at first. She could not understand why Merlin only saw half of himself; since she and others saw him looking normal both in reflection or not, but she eventually managed to calm him down.

Merlin never forgot that day he realized that he only could see an incomplete reflection of himself. It was like he had a line in the middle of his body. On one side he was just his normal looking self. But on the other side was nothing, a blurry mess of the background he stood in front and grey. He avoided looking at himself from then on, which had been quite easy because there was not much that could cast a reflection. It became more difficult when he arrived in Camelot and it got worse after he became the manservant of the prince.

The castle had mirrors and windows everywhere. And every time he polished Arthur's armor he could see only half of himself. He never got an answer to why this was so when everyone else could see their own reflection just fine. It was a constant reminder that he was an odd one, and it always made him sad. He pretended that nothing was wrong with his reflection of course, why would you not be able to see yourself in a mirror after all?

It's been years since he first came to Camelot now. Much had changed since his first time here. Arthur was king, and himself was still Arthur's manservant of course but now much more than that. Even though they practically hated each other in the beginning; they were now very close friends, though most of the time none of them actually admitted it.

Merlin sighed. He was sitting in Arthur's chambers, lost in thoughts as he polished on of Arthur's new chest plates. Just then, Arthur walked in and gave Merlin a shining smile.

"Ah, Merlin!" he exclaimed. "You got a new chest plate ready at hand I see, perfect! This one is… well,"

"What have you done to it?!" Merlin shouted and got up, gesturing to the armor Arthur was currently wearing. It had a huge buckle in the middle of it.

Arthur huffed. "I've done nothing. It was Sir Percival who managed to get a decent hit on me. After, I might add, a lengthy duel."

Merlin shook his head. "No no no, this is gonna take me a long time to repair!"

"Yes, well, if you help me get this bloody thing of me as soon as possible, I might consider someone else to take care of it for me." Arthur said, his voice sounding a bit strained.

"Are you hurt?" Merlin asked worryingly as he immediately came to Arthur's side and started to help him out of his armor.

"Just a bit." Arthur gasped a little when his buckled chest plate finally was off him.

Merlin frowned. "Shall I call for Gaius?"

Arthur shook his head. "No, I'll be fine." he said and walked towards his mirror that stood on the floor. The only mirror that was in all of Arthur's chambers, Merlin had noted a long time ago. "Help me out of this shirt, will you?"

Merlin did as he was asked and he grimaced when he saw the bruises on Arthur's upper body that was already starting to appear. "Looks bad."

"Feels bad too, I promise you that."

Merlin huffed. "Serves you right, damaging my chest plate and all."

"It's mine and it was Percival who-"

"I don't wanna hear it." Merlin said with half a smile and then looked back at Arthur's bruises. "Well, since you are refusing Gaius help. You will have to settle with mine."

"I'm fine." said the king and winced as he touched his hand to his chest.

"Sure you are." Merlin said nonchalant as he walked over to one of the drawers in the room. Taking out some bottles and bandages.

Arthur looked at him through the mirror. "I got my own supply of bandages and things now?"

Merlin came back to Arthur's side, his arms full. "Yes, you might as well."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean you are a clumsy oaf that end up being hurt more often than anyone I know!"

"Oaf am I!? Merlin you-"

"Shh," Merlin smirked at him. "Let me have a look at you." he started to poke around Arthur's chest and back, examining him like Gaius would have done.

Arthur had no choice but to let him. He watched Merlin work through the mirror and went silent after a while.

"Well, good news, Sire. It seems nothing is broken and no other major injury can be found. Just some bruises and hopefully some bruises on your ego as well." Merlin smiled and stepped back towards the side table where he had put the bandages. Arthur did not answer and Merlin looked back at him. The blond king was looking at himself in the mirror lost in thoughts; looking gloomy.

Merlin recognized that look on Arthur's face. He had worn that expression many times himself when he had seen himself in the mirror. Although, Arthur must be thinking about something else than his reflection that make him so depressed, Merlin thought.

"Sire," Merlin asked softly, trying the get the king to open up to him, "what trouble you so? What do you see?"

Arthur was silent for a moment. "It is what I don't see what troubles me."

Merlin frowned. "What do you mean?"

Arthur smiled and looked down. "I don't think you'll understand, Merlin."

Merlin shrugged. "I might." he said with a smile.

"No one can understand, Merlin." Arthur sighed. "Every time I've told someone in the past they look at me like I just told them I can fly or something" he chuckled. Merlin stayed silent and Arthur sighed again and looked into the mirror. "This will sound strange, Merlin. But I don't think I am complete… every time that I look at myself in the mirror I see half a man." Arthur touched the right side of his face with his right hand with a frown. "I- I can't see the right side of my body- it's like it's not there, although I know that it is and I can feel it. But I have never been able to see it."

Arthur heard nothing from Merlin, not even laughter that he thought he would hear so he turned and looked at his friend beside him. Merlin looked pale, more so than normal. Arthur could see his hands trembling and his wide eyes stared back into Arthur's own. "Merlin?"

Merlin gasped. He opened and closed his mouth again and again. "I- I…"

Arthur looked down. "I know it's strange, forget that I said anything."

Merlin got tears in his eyes. "Arthur, I… I'm the same." he managed to say at last, with an unsteady voice.

Now it was Arthur's time to look shocked. "What do you mean?"

Merlin wiped his tears from his cheeks. "I've never been able to see my left side in the reflection."

Arthur stood gaping and Merlin laughed through his tears. "How odd." the warlock managed to say.

"Odd?" Arthur laughed both shocked and confused, "it's that all you can say?"

"I've never met someone else who have a half a reflection before! I've known you for years, Arthur! Why have you not said anything?"

"Why haven't you? I thought I was the only one!"

Merlin grew quiet. Thinking about what Kilgharrah said a long time ago… _'You are two sides of the same coin…'_ "Oh," Merlin whispered, "we are two halves of one soul."

Arthur tilted his head. "What?"

Merlin took a deep breath and started to walk towards Arthur again, this time he walked over to Arthur's right side and stood facing the mirror. Arthur who had watched Merlin walk over to him, now also looked into the mirror again as Merlin now did. And what he saw took his breath away.

They no longer looked incomplete. In their reflection now stood one complete being. No longer two halves, but one whole. No one said anything, and Arthur felt his own tears forming and he let them fall with a relieved, and truly happy laugh. They were tears of joy after all and he was not ashamed. There were only Merlin and him there.

And they were one.

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Author's note: A short little fic I've been thinking about for a while. I actually wanted to make it into a longer Merlin/HP fanfic but I decided to make it like this instead.  
What do you think? Leave me a review, please!  
I couldn't figure out a good title or ending but this will have to do, I guess XD.

/Eressie


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